Don't Quit Your Day Job

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Making Fun Of Spanish Books
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“Krista Reads Lola Lago!”

“THIS IS NOT HOW YOU BOOK!”

“Everyone is angry. So it’s still Twilight…”

“STOP COMPLAINING!”

“Does every chapter start with the time?!”

“Oh look, more weather!”

“This really is Twilight. We’re on chapter seven and there’s still no plot.”

“She complains that it’s really hot out. It’s August in Spain. Really?!”

“Don’t get angry because you’re ugly.”

“That’s… fascinating.”

“She can’t form a complete sentence. Oh my God she’s Bella!”

“So self-loathing… she’s still Bella…”

“That’s a… great train of thought.”

“The park’s really green. Oh, rain!”

“Hm. That was a strange reaction.”

“She’s insecure. And doesn’t have much self-esteem. So she’s still Bella.”

“Sometimes he produces the disks. I don’t… what?”

“Detectives are like doctors. You should always tell them the truth.”

“Why is there no time?! HE’S GUILTY! His alibi is flawed!”

“Useless information!”

“You obviously know nothing.”

“Rich is said twice, so I guess she wanted to be extra rich.”

“Lola makes a wonderful observation, by pointing out that he doesn’t really like her.”

“I know what happened. Stephenie Meyer read this book, figured that she could write a better one, and wrote Twilight.”

“This is way more fun than television. She doesn’t watch television, how would she know?!”

“A (male) friend? A suspicious (female) friend? THE MAFIA?!”

“She’ll call later, and she needs a detective… Oh my God… *facepalm*”

“I hope Lola dies.”

“She’s trying to entice him, I guess, to do his job…”

“She does wine commercials on TV. More alcohol!”

“We’re an agency of great detectives! We’re going to be famous! *scoffs*”

“The record people also called! Looking for a detective! Incredible!”

“All the other detective agencies are on vacation. That explains that.”

“It’s 2003? There’s a Walkman…”

“Fantastic. I don’t care.”

“She asks for a strong drink. Again.”

“She thinks that the alcohol is better for her tooth than aspirin. Yeah. Okay.”

“It’s like Clue but really boring.”

“Alcohol is magic, you guys.”

“The women always confide in Paco. Okay.”

“I love Spanish stories.”

“Oh, they’re introducing a new character. I don’t care.”

“Percy’s the dog. The dog kidnapped Victor!”

“She’s trying to get to lightning. Poorly. She said that he’s the thief of dramatic lights.”

“Very bad, but clean. Clean?”

“Yep, they’re strange. Okay. Whatever.”

“Okay. I don’t care.”

“I don’t… what?!”

“Why did this need a footnote? It says that taxi drivers typically ask their clients where they are going.”

“Aw, they’re introducing another character. I. Don’t. Care.

“These books have no continuity. They’re… they just… there are no words…”

“Kidnappers don’t usually brush the dogs of the kidnapped. That’s… true?”

“She goes to a bar that has a television and a slot machine and smells like oil.”

“You stupid girl!”

“Then it says “blip blip blip blink.” Oh, that’s the slot machine.”

“Victor just went on vacation with the dog and every other private detective in Madrid.”

“And we’re almost done. Thank God.”

“And it’s very hot there. Oh my God…”

“She falls with emotion.”

“He wallows in his sadness while eating a sardine sandwich. The end.”


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That was Really Entertaining to Read I was Laughing all the way through it

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